GG's Cinnamon Rolls

Yesterday, I went to my Grandma's house to make cinnamon rolls with my mom and niece.  I had to write down the 'recipe' because as old school as my grandma is, she really doesn't 'follow a recipe'. It's more of a cacophony of different techniques and knowings from different successes and failures. She does not use eggs in her because she feels that it makes the dough too sweet. Most of this recipe is a "feeling"... a term which highly irritated me since my baking skills are still intermediate at best.

So here it is, for any family or friends that want it. I will say that it will take the majority of your day, but damn, it's SO worth it. I do not like frosted cinnamon rolls, so I made a caramel mixture to put at the bottom. 

GG's Christmas Cinnamon Rolls

2 1/4 cup of lukewarm water

1 cup of powdered milk

3 tablespoons of sugar

1 tablespoon of salt

2 tablespoons of lard (yes, lard... and make sure these are HEAPING)

Combine and heat just enough to see bubbles around the side. Take off of heat and cool in sink of cold water. 

Mix 1 yeast package with 1 cup of water.

Add 2 cups of flour to the 1st mixture and beat the shit out of it. Beat it like you mean it. (you have to do this before adding the yeast because as my grandmother repeated over and over SALT KILLS YEAST)

Add yeast mixture and beat.

Continue to add flour until it is mixed just right (this is one of those feelings things. I added 3-4 cups and it started to form)

Flour the surface with lots of flour and dump the dough onto your counter. 

(When I say beat, I mean it. Do not use a bread hook or your KitchenAide. You have to be able to FEEL it. )

Knead bread until combined on a floured surface. You don't want to see any cracks in the bread. But don't over flour it. You will FEEL when it's ready. My GG said that this is the best therapy. Take your frustrations out on the bread. It only makes it better. 

Put dough into a greased (with shortening) bowl or large pan and let rise for about 2 hours. 

Drink a bottle or two of wine. 

When the dough pops out like a fat girl wearing too tight pants, punch it down. Give it another hour or so to rise. 

Drink another bottle of wine and take some Advil. 

Grease 2 pans with shortening. 

Make Caramel Topping (for 2 pans)

2 cups brown sugar

1/2 cup of room temperature butter

Cut the butter into the sugar like you're making pie crust

1/2 cup water

4 tablespoons of white Karo syrup

Put the caramel mixture at the bottom of both pans. 

Half your dough and roll into a rectangle or some shape like that. 

Spread the dough with butter and sprinkle with cinnamon. 

Roll the dough into a log and pinch the top so that the roll is sealed together. 

Cut rolls (about 1-2 inches depending on how big you want them)

Put into the pans with caramel bottoms.

**IMPORTANT** Grease your pointer finger and push down on the middle of each roll. 

Bake 350 unti you knock on it and it sounds follow (then give it another 5-10 minutes because if you don't, you will screw it up like I did...)

Once it's cooled a little, flip pan upside down on parchment paper. Grab a cup of coffee, butter up a roll, and die of happiness. 

You're welcome.