Books and a Crabby Mommy

I am an avid reader. I devour books in a day. Over the course of the pregnancy, I have read several books including the following:

1. What To Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff: the classic 'must have' pregnant lady book. Too bad I got the free app on my IPod that pretty much told me everything I needed to know. Plus, I feel like asking women questions gave me more insight than this book. I felt like it was the Nazi pregnancy book in a sense that NOT ALL PREGNANCIES ARE THE SAME! I felt so bad when I gained 12 pounds in a month, but after talking to people and a month of a 2 pound weight gain (over the holidays nonetheless) I realized that sometimes you just gain an ass load of weight in a 30 day period. Not a fan of this book, wouldn't buy it again. I won't even loan it out.

2. The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine: I was given this book as a gift from a good friend. It was an easy read and did mention the Nazi book above a few times. I liked the relaxed attitude about pregnancy and the realistic advice. Some of the advice I did not agree with (not exercising), but luckily I am smart enough to make up my own mind on those subjects. The book was witty and I liked it so much that I loaned it to another pregnant friend.

3. Knocked Up: The Confessions of a Hip Mother To Be by Rebecca Eckler: BAHAHA! This book was awesome. No holds bar way to look at an unplanned pregnancy while having a fiance that lives out of town. I loved the honesty of this book and how well I was able to relate to it. Gift from same good friend which was loaned to pregnant friend.

4. Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy: I have never in my life laughed so much as I have reading this book. It's on loan to pregnant friend #2. It's all the gross stuff that no one ever talks about and in Jenny McCarthy fashion makes it even grosser. And every minute of it was amazing. I liked that it had short chapters and that my stomach hurt so badly after reading pieces of it.

5. Breast feeding Sucks by Joanne Kimes: I bought this book on my Nook and it's has so many notes and highlights from me that it's unreal. My favorite line of the book, "If you have a yeast infection, keep your husband's mouth away from your nipples. Yeast is contagious and can cause him to suffer from athlete's foot or jock itch. (Although if you still resent him for not being able to lactate, you can just keep this fact to yourself)." The book is full of great information that I will refer back to and took a realistic, sarcastic look at the art of breast feeding. 

6. It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita by Heather B. Armstrong: I am currently on page 98 of 183 on a chapter called 'Your Biological Clock is a Dumbass'. So far, I really enjoy this book. Heather talks about the joys and pains of being pregnant and becoming a mom. She has just revealed her choice to go back on her anti-depressants and how she doesn't know how she makes it some days. Oddly enough, this book gives me comfort in knowing that I do not have to be a supermom. 


7. The Mommy Diet by Allison Sweeney: Don't judge. I want to look good after I have my baby. So far, I like this book as it offers advice that applies to me. 


I really love my new Nook. It's so perfect and I love that I don't have to go anywhere to buy a book. I can just upload it and read within seconds. This satisfies my insatiable need to read. I have always been prepared for any challenge I've faced because I've loaded up on the literature. I realize that there is truly no way to really be prepared for Emma's arrival, but I take comfort in knowing that I somehow am slightly knowledgeable in all that is baby.

I won't lie. Lately, I have hated being pregnant. I have to cross my legs to laugh, cough, or sneeze. I have heartburn constantly, even after drinking water. I can't sleep because of gravity. Carrying around all this extra weight makes me tired. And I am constantly being kicked, shoved, poked, etc. Emma's fun new trick is kicking me in the crotch. I don't know how she does it, but it happens. It's extremely awkward because every so often as I am standing or walking, I groan loudly and bend over in pain. I've also been a loner. I just want to be left alone. I don't want to talk on the phone, text, or Facebook. I just want to be left the hell alone! Ask Jonathan. I'm not nice. And, quite frankly, I do not give a shit. I know this sounds horrible, but Jesus. I'm already making a baby. I'm tired. Give me a break! This attitude does not work well at work, but the students have learned their limits and are pretty sweet when they know I am having a tough day. My sense of humor is gone, along with my ability to see my feet while standing. And my maternity clothes don't fit. I'm fat. And I am so sick of people telling me it will get worse. NO SHIT.

The only person who is completely unconcerned with this is Kobe. He loves me no matter what and when I get looked at with those melty puppy eyes, I can't be mad.

Anyway, we decided to get a 30 week ultrasound just to give me some peace of mind. It's worth the money to me because I just feel the need to see what is giving me so much grief! I really just want her to be here already... 10 more weeks left!