Well, here we are at our due date. I have some mild contractions, have dilated 1 cm, and feel all around tired and anxious. I had a doctors appointment this morning where she stripped my membranes as much as she could and listened to me debate back and forth on the induction. I finally called J to ask him to help me make the decision because I felt so overwhelmed. We have an induction appointment on Sunday. This is the induction where they gel me up and let me walk around. No IVs or Pitocin. We will be there for about 6 hours and if I am not in active labor, I get sent home with another induction date. THAT date will be the one where we don't leave without a baby. We decided to go ahead with the pseudo induction just because I can't bear another week.
Right now, I can't put a finger on how I'm feeling. I've been steadily crying, but in a mixture of fear, excitement, frustration, happiness, impatience, and being completely overwhelmed and disappointed. I'm tired of being asked if I've popped or had the baby. I'm tired of answering phone calls and texts... actually I haven't been answering them. I know that people are excited and wish us well, but it makes me feel stressed out. Luckily, a lot of the texts just wish us well and don't require a response (I hope). I need J home, but I want to be left alone. In a nutshell, I'm going crazy.
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My Dr. stripped my membranes with Jared and I was in active labor less than 5 hours later. Hang in there; it's going to be soon, I promise!
ReplyDeleteGo for a walk; it helps!
Your story sounds a lot like mine. Just remember that the end is near!
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